Where’s the Jigsaw Piece?

When Something Feels Missing in Your Life.

What if nothing is actually wrong?

Why can life look good on paper and still not feel quite right?

Could it be that you’ve changed?

Sometimes people come to coaching knowing exactly what they want to work on.

“I need to change jobs.”

“I want to make a big decision.”

“I’ve got an idea for a business and I need to work out what to do with it.”

And sometimes they sit down and say something much less definite:

“I don’t really know. Nothing’s wrong. I just feel like something’s missing.”

I hear this a lot, particularly from people in midlife.

Sure, on paper, life might look pretty good. You have a job, people you love, somewhere to live, friends, holidays. You’ve built a life. You may have worked bloody hard to build it too.

So it can feel slightly ridiculous to admit that you’re not entirely happy with it.

But there it is. That nagging feeling that something doesn’t quite fit anymore.

The missing jigsaw piece.

I think of it a bit like finishing a jigsaw and realising there’s a piece missing. You can see the picture. Most of it is there. But your eye keeps going back to the gap.

That’s often what feeling stuck in midlife is like. You’re getting on with your life - working, seeing friends, paying the bills, making plans, but every now and again a thought pops up:

Is this it?

Or:

Do I actually want to keep doing this for the next ten years?

Or perhaps the harder question to ask yourself: 

What do I want instead?

You might not have an answer. That doesn't mean the question isn't worth asking.

It could be - you've simply changed.

We tend to assume that if something in our life isn't working, something must have gone wrong.

But that's not always what has happened. You may have changed. The job you worked hard to get at 32 might not be what you want at 48. The version of success you once chased might not particularly interest you anymore.

You may want more creativity. More freedom. Different work. Better relationships. More fun. Less responsibility. More responsibility. A slower life. A bigger life.

You might not even know yet.

Midlife can bring all sorts of changes with it too. Children grow up. Relationships change. Parents get older. Careers stall or become exhausting. There can be redundancy, burnout, menopause, bereavement or a dip in confidence. And sometimes nothing significant has happened at all.

You just notice that the person you are now isn't quite the person your current life was built around.

“But I don't know what I want”

Good. Well, perhaps not good. I appreciate it can be incredibly frustrating.

But you don't need to know what you want before you come to coaching.

You don't need a five-year plan. (A particular pet hate of mine.)

And you don't need to announce that you're leaving your job, moving to the coast to open a cattery. (No? Just me then?)

You can start with: “I know I don't want things to stay exactly as they are.”

That's enough. Because then we have something to explore.

What are you bored with?

What are you tolerating?

What do you keep saying you’ll do “one day”?

What do you miss about yourself?

And whose idea of a good life are you currently living anyway?

These are the conversations I have with clients who feel stuck, restless or unfulfilled but can't necessarily explain why.

Sometimes we discover that work is the problem. Sometimes it isn't.

Occasionally a client  is convinced they need a complete career change and discovers that what they actually need is more of a life outside their career.

And sometimes the thing they've been dismissing as silly or unrealistic turns out to matter quite a lot. (I love it when this happens)

That's why having somewhere and someone to talk it through can help. You get to take all the thoughts that have been circling around in your head and put them somewhere. We can look at them properly.

You don't have to blow up your life.

Finding the missing piece doesn't necessarily mean making one enormous change.

It might mean changing jobs. But it could just as easily be starting something creative again, saying ‘no’ more often, making different decisions about your time, taking an idea seriously, meeting different people, putting yourself forward for something, or finally having a conversation you've been avoiding.

Small changes can tell you an enormous amount about what you want next.

You don't have to know where all of this is leading before you begin.

If you've found yourself thinking “something is missing from my life”, “I feel stuck”, or “I have no idea what I want next”, that's exactly the sort of thing we can bring to a coaching session.

My discovery chats are free, 30-minute conversations. There’s no pressure, no preparation needed and no expectation that you arrive knowing exactly what you want to work on.

Book a discovery chat with me and we can talk about where you are now, what you might want to change, and how my style of coaching could help you work out what comes next.